Oh, Clomid

So, even though I was supposed to go in for a blood test, I didn't. It seemed, well, silly. So, I didn't. And then I called on "day three" because I couldn't bring myself to call before that. I've been finding myself resisting a lot - in fact, we first started discussing having a second one LAST YEAR. It took me this long to get the courage to start trying again. If I'm completely honest as to why I've been gun shy, there are two reasons: 1) I don't want to have another miscarriage and 2) I don't want to have another miscarriage. If I never get pregnant again, GUESS WHAT? No miscarriage. But I do want a second child. I see babies and I sigh a great sigh. When we were discussing whether or not to have another - and I voiced my opinion that maybe I was fine with just one, my husband said, "If we don't have a second, we could get rid of all our little one's old clothes!" Sometimes the husband boggles my mind. Boggles. Yep, that sounds like as good a reason as any to NOT have a second child - less stuff. Sigh. The Husband is going a bit crazy lately with our living situation. Honestly I am completely fine with it. We live in a large one bedroom and if he would let me do the things that I would like to do (which he won't without a huge battle royale) we could live quite happily. I don't understand this obsession with bigger, bigger, bigger, mcmansions, etc. I lived in Europe in high school (exchange student) and was completely blown away by my host family: they had one small, beautiful apartment in the city and one country house. They only had what they needed, nothing more, nothing less. And what they had was beautiful and cherished. My problem is that I haven't quite gotten that equation down - I have a lot of stuff, which as I mentioned, is driving the Husband batty. Which is driving me batty and so on (which by the way, means that if we are lucky enough to have a second bambino, I will relent and agree to move). Anyway, so, back to the point: I'm on 100mg of Clomid. ONE HUNDRED. WHAT?!?! This would scare me, except that last time I had three really good size-y follicles and then . . . nothing. NOTHING. I'm shocked, frankly. And a little worried about what this means. All three eggs were duds? Duds! THREE! Three duds? This makes me a tad concerned about the quality of my eggs - which I would imagine has a lot to do with my now advanced maternal age. ADVANCED MATERNAL AGE. Or could it mean that the eggs weren't even released at all? I mean, I had to be cleaned out in November. Could it be clogged up again? Anyway, I go in to see Doctor Superman on Tuesday and I imagine I'll have IUI #3 this Saturday. It's very strange and also very different, to be back here again. Until then.