The Marathon

Occasionally I worked for a sports photography company - shooting races in and around NYC. I did it mainly for fun - but the extra money was also nice. However, there were a lot of headaches that went along with it. For example, I could spend hours, unpaid, editing the photos, burning them to disk and sending them to the company. I dropped everything several times to shoot for them when they were in a bind, was taken off shoots when they had too many shooters without complaint, shot later than other photographers and even continued shooting after a runner accidentally hit me in the face, giving me a black eye, all with no thanks from them. Every year I shoot the marathon for them. The marathon is on November 2nd. I agreed to do it because I really thought the Baby would be around three weeks, and once I wasn't pregnant any more, everything would be a piece of cake. Not to mention that I really enjoy shooting it. However, when I realized that the race was THIS weekend and I was still having pain issues, not sleeping through the night, taking care of a newborn, figuring out the whole breastfeeding thing, I decided that it would be too difficult. The Husband has been asking me not to do it for weeks. The day starts early and ends late - I've shot it before with no breaks at all. I really don't know how I would manage without being able to rest or pump. The thing is, it's very difficult for me to admit that I may not be able to do something - it makes me feel terrible. So, it was with a lot of thought that I decided to tell them, at the last minute, granted, that I would not be able to do it after all. They did not react well. They e-mailed me that they will NEVER hire me again. I feel terrible. However, the Husband has pointed out repeatedly how little they care about their photographers and have not exactly treated us well over the years. But they are running a business and if they can't rely on me to actually be present at a shoot, why hire me again? I feel terrible about it - the last thing I want to do is have a bad relationship with a former employer. By the way, as a contract employee, the Family Medical Leave Act doesn't apply - but this type of situation is exactly why it was enacted in the first place. Sigh. The thing is, the Baby and my own health has to be the priority - in the end it just wasn't worth it to me to kill myself like that and to potentially disrupt breastfeeding (the whole nipple confusion controversy not withstanding - but also whether or not I could handle not pumping for 8-10 hours). Ugh.