The Tale of Frankenfoot and Trigger Finger

Ah, the wonders of the strange going-ons in one’s pregnant body. As I approach the third trimester (HOLY TOLEDO!) I’m having some, um, interesting issues. Occasionally I’ll glance down at my feet and it appears that they have been stolen and replaced by Fred Flinstone’s. They are, shall we say, large, frighteningly large. A little feet elevation and more water usually does the trick - but I am unable to wear about 99% of my shoes. Which is why I became obsessed with Crocs - thinking that those were the answer. I bought a pair of Mary Jane like Crocs (my husband banned me from looking at the traditional style) that I wore around work for awhile - but I began to feel ridiculous (Does everyone know that I am wearing plastic garden shoes right now? With a suit? Did she just look at me weirdly? She’s wondering why I’m wearing these to work! I just know it.) So I moved onto a larger, wide size shoe from a cheapy shoe store instead. I occasionally grow out of those, too. I finally broke down and bought some super expensive, super comfy flip flops which work most of the time. In addition to Frankenfoot, I now spend my nights with a wrist splint strapped tightly to my right hand because my fingers go numb constantly throughout the night - and it takes a very, very long time to revive them and occasionally, the numbness returns just after I’m convinced it’s gone. This does not bode well for restful sleep (I did however, recently dream that I professed my love to that actor from Entourage - all while very, very pregnant. Sadly, he did not return the sentiment. Dream-me was quite crushed, and had to walk away in shame). Most recently I awoke with a new issue, the pinky finger on my left hand appears to have come out of joint, but doesn’t remain that way after I’ve gotten up and waddled around the apartment for a spell. The first time I found it quite disturbing. I’ve since learned (courtesy of “Doctor Google) that it’s called, “Trigger Finger” and may be pregnancy related (apparently not only do my feet swell, but my tendons swell as well (and nerves compress) - hence, the trigger issue and the numbness - which may be pregnancy-related carpal tunnel). Now I wear a wrist splint and a finger brace. I know! Sexy! When I told me doc all of my recent woes, he said, “Yep, and it’s just going to get worse.” Grand. The good news is, however, supposedly this will all go away once the babe makes his grand entrance.

On the other hand, I’m actually beginning to see my BELLY MOVE when the baby does. It’s amazing. I thoroughly enjoy knowing his routine - he’s super busy in the mornings (I think he might be constructing a house, or maybe playing cards in there) and then he’s super busy again around 8 PM. Although I realize he's likely following my routine (sleeping when I'm busy, busy when I'm not) I enjoy thinking that he's a morning person, like his father.

Thank you all for your great suggestions on names - several of those names lost their favor once we tried them out with the Husband's last name. Although he denies it, he has a very difficult last name to work with. A lot of names rhyme with his last name - and not in a good way. However, we will be hyphenating the bambino’s last name (shocking! Call the national guard! How could we! It’ll be SO long! How will he survive?) so that could soften the blow somewhat, but it’s unlikely. Still, though, the Husband is set on a name, and has even begun calling him that name - while I’m still on the fence about it.

I’m very, very excited to have the third trimester near - it’s truly amazing. I’m constantly amazed. And although I complain about my most recent issues, they are really so very minor. And so very worth it.