As Fate Would Have It

The appointment went well with the RE. In a nutshell, I have to have a lot of tests. Fun, fun tests of the snagging bits of your endometrium kind and blood, much, much blood. But oh! I am used to the blood. How I used to be afraid of needles! And now, I proudly thrust force my forearm to be punctured by the nurses or the phlebotomists or the nurses and the phlebotomists. And did I tell you how they love using that one new nurse? Or that new phlebotomist? You know, the one who was just practicing on an orange? Well, they do. And oh, did I mention my tiny, tiny, pesky veins that they can never find? Oh, but what fun! What joy! And, oh, the bruising! But really, what's a little vampire action if we come away with a little one? Not much. Not much at all.

As fate would have it, not only is each and everyone of my friends pregnant (or just given birth) and all of my husband's myriad of cousins pregnant, but my husband's sister, my THIRTY-EIGHT YEAR OLD sister-in-law is pregnant. You know, the one who wasn't trying. The one who didn't necessarily want to have kids. Yep. That's the one. Part of me is really happy. It's exciting! How exciting! A new little being! My husband (and I) will have a new niece or nephew! And we will spoil her. And love her. And we will have her come out to our pad in New York. And we'll take her to Europe (hey, it's my fantasy). And we'll help with her college expenses (Columbia) and her pre-med studies (how exactly we're helping her with that isn't important!) and her trips to Africa with Doctors without Borders! Hey, I'm exhausted already. Part of me, however, is also mad. And jealous. And sad. That about sums it up.